This is going to be one of those “talk about myself” posts, rather than a review supplied with witicisms about some shitty game, like, I don’t know, Stalin Vs Martians. This post is going to be about me and what I’ve learnt over the last year about myself and those around me.
To start with, I’ve learnt to be by myself. I have a twin brother and before uni we would spend up to 80% of every day together. So to go from that to only seeing him with months in between is a big step. I’ve had to learn how to enjoy my own company. Being able to spend time on your own is an important thing, you aren’t always going to be able to spend time around those you want to. Considering I’m not the most socially aware of people (I’m doing Computer Science for God’s sake heh), I’m not one of these people that has made a huge amount of new friends at uni. I’ve learnt that I’m not the kind of guy that has hundreds of friends but doesn’t know any of them. I realise that I’m not this guy or that I’m ever going to be. Fortunately, the friends I do have are all good friends.
I’ve also learnt that loving yourself is important. My body might not be perfect, but it’s mine. My mind might not be perfect, but it’s mine. No one’s perfect and no one is expecting you to be. You are the biggest critic of yourself. If you have a problem with how you are, do something about it rather than moan about it and let it effect you. Having doubts about yourself will only place doubts in other people’s minds. I spent quite a lot of time not liking how I am for most of my life, but what’s the point in doing that. It’s only been recently that I’ve realised I am who I am and it’s only had possitive effects on me.
Recently I’ve learnt that there’s no point persuing that one person you wish to be with. If you’ve tried and the feeling isn’t mutual, don’t dwell on it or keep persuing them. It’s going to be a pointless exercise and you’ll only get let down again and again. Let them move onto chasing people who don’t really care about them. And anyway, you can’t make someone love you. Also, opening up to friends is extremely beneficial to your well being and also to your relationship with that friend. And I’ve also learnt to not care about what other people think about someone you like. It’s not you that has a problem, it’s your so called friend that has the problem.
I want to thank the friends that have been there, whether they read this or not or whether they know it or not. I was let down today by a girl I care about but I’m not going to let it bother me. I’m not going to let myself feel pained by it as it’s a waste of my resources, especially considering I should be thinking about my exams and the future.
Sorry for this being a tad reflective or whatever, but I just needed to get some of my thoughts down. Time to get on with life 😀